Tuesday, September 27, 2011

You Aren't My Pastor

It happens, every time I meet a group of pastors. Today was typical.
“Hi, I’m John Beukema.”
“I’m Pastor Andrew Peabody.”
“Pastor Andy, the children like to call me.”
“Well, since you’re not my pastor, may I call you Andy?”
Reluctantly he allows it.

Or the woman wearing clerical garb who responded to, “I’m John,” with “I’m Reverend McGillicutty-Smithe.”
“Okay,” I said, “but your name is…?”
“Pastor Elizabeth McGillicutty-Smithe.”
“Do you prefer Elizabeth or Liz or…?”
“Pastor Elizabeth.”

What level of insecurity or desperate need for authority drives this kind of interaction?

No ordination I’ve seen issued a pedestal.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Cliches, True and Tried

Just heard a political commentator describe the end of something as “match and set.”

Clich├ęs are bad enough, but when you are so oblivious to what they mean that you use them incorrectly, you should keep as silent as a mouse church.

Some purely fictional examples:
  • “Mate and check!” Turns chess victory into spousal identification, or a pregnancy test instruction.
  • “Miss and a swing.” Changes baseball futility into a young lady on a playground.
  • “Heavy and hot.” Transforms a passionate tryst into a July Weight Watchers meeting.
Some sayings are unaffected:
  • “Oranges and apples”
  • “Dangerous and armed”
  • “Tat for tit…”