Tuesday, September 27, 2011

You Aren't My Pastor

It happens, every time I meet a group of pastors. Today was typical.
“Hi, I’m John Beukema.”
“I’m Pastor Andrew Peabody.”
“Andrew?”
“Pastor Andy, the children like to call me.”
“Well, since you’re not my pastor, may I call you Andy?”
Reluctantly he allows it.

Or the woman wearing clerical garb who responded to, “I’m John,” with “I’m Reverend McGillicutty-Smithe.”
“Okay,” I said, “but your name is…?”
“Pastor Elizabeth McGillicutty-Smithe.”
“Do you prefer Elizabeth or Liz or…?”
“Pastor Elizabeth.”

What level of insecurity or desperate need for authority drives this kind of interaction?

No ordination I’ve seen issued a pedestal.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Cliches, True and Tried

Just heard a political commentator describe the end of something as “match and set.”

Clichés are bad enough, but when you are so oblivious to what they mean that you use them incorrectly, you should keep as silent as a mouse church.

Some purely fictional examples:
  • “Mate and check!” Turns chess victory into spousal identification, or a pregnancy test instruction.
  • “Miss and a swing.” Changes baseball futility into a young lady on a playground.
  • “Heavy and hot.” Transforms a passionate tryst into a July Weight Watchers meeting.
Some sayings are unaffected:
  • “Oranges and apples”
  • “Dangerous and armed”
  • “Tat for tit…”