My Hipster Fail

I read 10 steps on becoming a hipster. Looks like I won’t make it.

1. Be the right age. (Not even close)
2. Date other hipsters. (Immediately vetoed by my wife)
3. Be educated. (Yes!)
4. An early adapter. (Undecided)
5. Make what’s old new again. (Check my closet)
6. Listen to independent music (My playlist: Springsteen, U2…)
7. Carefully careless grooming. (It looks like I don’t care, but I do)
8. Get the lingo. (I’m pulchritudinous)
9. Hone your irony and sarcasm. (my humor is made entirely of iron)
10. Grow your own food and turn vegan. (I don’t even cook my own food, except when I grill steaks)